Author Archives: 8feetandasetofwheels

Sometimes I Get Angry

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Tonight…tonight I’m angry!!!

I’m angry that my little boy has to fight and struggle when it comes to every aspect of his life.

I’m angry that things that come so easy to everyone else doesn’t to him.

I’m angry that I have to wipe tears that shouldn’t be shed.

I’m angry that he has to have days where he can’t control his slobber and he is on edge all day because his tummy hurts

I’m angry that every week sometimes a couple times a week I have to do the thing he hates most to help him just go to the bathroom.

I’m angry that he has to sit on the potty forever and sometimes still gets nothing out.

I’m angry that he pushes with all his might…so hard he throws up… over and over…but still nothing.

I’m angry we can be sitting here almost two and a half hours after bedtime and he still can’t stay asleep.

I’m angry that I have to sit inches from his face and practically coach my 8 year old like a woman in labor every time he sits on the potty.

I’m angry that it’s only him and I in this every single time.

I’m angry that there are no breaks. That he and I, together, have to work through our frustrations not only with the situation but also with each other.

Tonight I’m just angry!! I don’t have these nights very often…I don’t allow it…but sometimes they creep in. I don’t want your pity and I don’t want any words of advice right now (I do so appreciate all the words of advice but not right now) ❤️

Tonight I just need to be angry. I need to feel it deep. I need to cry myself to sleep (or hopefully cry it out in the shower I still have to take before I can lay down and shut my eyes because I get no breaks to even shower!!).

Tonight CP…I’m angry at you!! Tonight…I hate you!! And that’s okay because I don’t often let you get the best of me and neither does Grant but tonight…as we sat on the toilet and both had tears running down our faces you won for just a split second.

Moral of the story: it’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to scream and cry and want to punch something. Feel that and be in it. Then take a deep breath, stand up, hold your head high and keep on going!

Have a blessed day!

Yes I Am Sitting Here Again

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Yes tears are in my eyes and slowly and silently overflowing down my cheeks.

Yes I am holding my eight year old son who has Cerebral Palsy and is nonverbal.

Yes I’m wondering how many times he will wake up tonight.

Yes my mind is racing with what could be wrong. Does his tummy hurt since he has barely eaten anything? Is his ear bothering him? Does he need to poop? Did he have a bad dream? Is he scared? All these thoughts and more are racing through my mind just trying to figure out how to help him.

Yes he got frustrated with me once again and yes I got frustrated with him.

Yes…once again…it’s just me and him to work it out on our own.

Nights are rough. Most of you know that from my previous posts. Some nights are easier than others but most nights are sleep deprived and frustration filled.

Night after night I do it on my own.

Being a special needs parent is hard. But being a special needs parent who carries the weight on my shoulders is that much harder. I very rarely get a break period…but at night it never happens.

I get him ready for bed, I fix his nighttime drink, I rock him, I lay him down in his bed. When he wakes up, I get him and do the cycle all over again.

Sometimes it takes everything I have to keep my eyes open. Sometimes we raise our voices at each other. And yes…sometimes there are tears.

Sometimes I would give anything for someone to say “Hey I got this!” when I hear him wake up and to just let me lay there.

But it’s in those moments of pure frustration and sleep deprivation that it allows me to take a deep breath, look into his big hazel eyes and talk just to him and no one else. It’s in these moments I get to truly remind him how much I love him and how if he will let me and help me then I can help him. It’s in these moments that I can feel him listening and hanging on to every word I say. And when I’m finished and ask if he’s ready to cuddle and go to sleep and he gives me his reassuring smile and nod, it’s in that moment that I can feel the weight shift.

As I feel him drift off to sleep and his little trapped body relax, it’s in that moment that I’m reminded why I am his Mom!

Moral of the story: even in the moments of feeling frustrated and alone there is still a reason to take a deep breath, find the good and shift the weight!

Have a blessed day!

Do You Ever Get Over It?

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Grief is a funny thing.

Actually there is nothing funny about it…it freaking sucks!

It’s an awful thing. It brings out anger and confusion and questioning. It brings out a sadness from so far deep inside you and you never knew it existed.

It catches up with you when you least expect it and it’s like a punch in the gut every time.

The grief I talk about today comes from the loss of my Grandma. It’s been a little over 6 months since I got the phone call from my mom. Wondering why she was calling so early in the morning only to hear her tears and knowing it wasn’t good news. Hearing those words took my breath away.  I walked down the hall into my living room only to see my oldest sitting there looking at me with complete worry. I then had to sit and tell him that his Great-Grandma had passed away and I held him as he sobbed into my chest. I broke his heart in ways that I wish he could never feel.

Now don’t get me wrong. She’s not the first person to pass away in my life. I’ve lost both my grandparents on my dad’s side and yes they hurt just as bad and I think of them constantly. But this one…it just flat out broke.

I find myself wondering why? Why does it hurt so darn bad? And the only answer I have for that is…I didn’t get to say goodbye. We knew she wasn’t doing the greatest but she was far from done! Every other important person who has passed in my life I got to say goodbye. We knew it was nearing then end and I got that closure. My heart wasn’t ready for her to be gone and I don’t care how much they say time heals…I don’t think there is enough time in this world to heal my heart.

She was supposed to move in with my parents and be there every time we came over. She was supposed to sit out at the pool with us while the kids went swimming just talking and smiling at her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was supposed to be there for my oldest and youngest birthdays just a few months later. She was supposed to be sitting in her spot for Thanksgiving. And she should be here complaining about how much she hates Christmas when I know deep down inside she truly loved it! She should be here as I get older and go through things and need to talk to her only to hear her say “I tried to tell you!” She should be going to Gracie’s first dance performance and to Matthew’s 4th grade concert. She should be here to make Grant crack up in ways that only she knew how.

We always joked when we saw something we liked we’d say “I’m going to put my name on that so when you die I get it.” We’ve said that for as long as I can remember. Well last winter she had a coat that I absolutely loved. It looked so comfy and warm. From the first time I saw it and probably every time I saw her wear it I told her “I’m putting my name on that coat so when you die it’s mine or just when you get sick of it.” She just always smiled and said “Okay!” Well dang it Grandma I didn’t want to be wearing it a few months later!!!

It still smells like her. I only wear it in the house because as Matthew told me “Don’t even think about wearing that outside, Mom, because it will make Great Grandma’s smell go away.” I feel safe when I have it on. How stupid does that sound…35 years old and I feel safe wearing a jacket that smells like my Grandma.

There are so many things I want to tell her. So many things I wish she knew. I want to hear her laugh again…oh just to hear that laugh one more time. But for now I will close my eyes and let the tears roll down my cheeks and pray that she’s up there watching down on us with a smile.

Moral of the story: never take today, or the people you love, for granted!

Have a blessed day!

I Need A Time Out

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I love being a mom!

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember.

I love even more so being a stay at home mom.

I love being there when they open their eyes in the morning. I love seeing them off to school. I love spending the special time with just Grace while the boys are at school because I know before long she will be off to school all day also. I love seeing their smiling faces when I pick them up. I love tucking them into bed every night.

I love my kids fiercely! They are every breath I take. I spend every minute of my day for my kids.

But sometimes…I need a timeout! I need a second to breathe for myself. I need some time away from them. It’s okay to admit that. I’m not ashamed!

Because I spend every second of my day with my kids I get every second of them. Along with all the happiness and smiles I get the grumpiness and frowns. I get the attitude from my ten year old. I get the rolling of his eyes and stomping of his feet because he was in the middle of a Fortnite game when I told him it’s time to go to bed. I get the whines from my eight year old. I get his screaming moments he has because he wants me to spend every second of everyday sitting beside him on the couch while he watches his videos and I just can’t. I get the sassiness from my three year old as she screams at me for a cookie or candy when she hasn’t had good food. I get it all.

My day starts in the morning and honestly sometimes really never ends before it rolls into the next day.

And add into that having the life of a special needs mom. I have a child who cannot do anything for himself. He fully relies on me for everything!

And trying to balance my time between not only all the duties bestowed upon me as a stay at home mom but also between each kid. Somedays it’s all just hard!

Sometimes I just need a timeout! I need to step out of the house without carrying a kiddo and having to hold another’s hand and get on to the oldest for not having his shoes on when I’ve asked a hundred times. I need time to remember who I am!

And that’s okay! I’m not at all saying I don’t love my children…because, like I said, they are literally every breath I take. But I would love a second to go to the bathroom without my daughter banging on the door shouting, “I WANT TO COME IN WITH YOU!!” (that is if she is not in there with me already). Or without my eight year old whining at me because I have to get up and go pee and leave his side. Or my ten year old bugging me over something that can absolutely wait until I am done.

I need a second to just stop and think. Some days I don’t even get a single second to think about…well…anything! I need my own space for a few seconds. I need room to move if only for a second. To not have someone sitting on my lap, or grabbing me by the hand or needing me to get up and get something.

Moral of the story: I need a time out!! But only for a second because even though they drive me crazy at times, I don’t know what I would do without the questions, and demands, and being needed!

Have a blessed day!

What’s For Dinner Wednesday…er…Thursday

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So obviously Wednesday has come and gone. Being a mom put a damper on being able to get my blog up last night. But here it is…What’s for dinner Wednesday…only a day late!

For those of you that know me, I think this recipe will come as a big of a shock as it did for me. I have always despised veggies! UGH!! But wait for it…this week’s recipe is…Broccoli Fritters!

Now I was iffy to try these because broccoli is one of my least favorites (tied with about every other veggie) but I finally bit the bullet and these have quickly become my favorite fast fix side dish.

The recipe is originally from Low Carb Maven. I’m so happy I came across it. Now please forgive my less than par photos. I’m not used to taking pictures of food! I will get better I promise. So for beautiful pictures go ahead and check out the original recipe. If you don’t care about the pictures read on 🙂

SO LET’S GET STARTED:

I think you will be pleasantly surprised by how easy these are to make! Seriously! Very few ingredients and super easy and fast…my kind of recipe!

Now keep in mind this is a low carb recipe so where you would normally see flour and other higher carb ingredients this recipe involves replacements. You will need broccoli, almond flour, shredded cheese, eggs, homemade or store bought Cajun seasoning and your favorite oil.

You will want to cut or broccoli into small pieces…or even chop them. Steam them lightly…don’t let this scare you it’s so easy. Put the broccoli in a microwaveable dish, cover it with another microwaveable dish pop it in the microwave for 3 minutes. Careful when you take it out it will be HOT! If there is any excess water you can drain it or use paper towels to dab the excess water. Honestly I’ve never had to do this.

Once the broccoli is steamed you will want to add your almond flour (or you could use oat fiber or powdered pork rinds). I always use almond flour. And add your Cajun seasoning (google homemade Cajun recipes I’m sure you have all the spices in your pantry to make your own). You will simply add the flour and seasoning to the broccoli and stir it in to mix well.

Next take your eggs (make sure you beat them first). Add them to the broccoli and mix until well blended.

Last ingredient to add is the cheese. Pour it in and stir it up until all the broccoli is coated with cheese.

To cook the broccoli you will want to put the oil (I use EVOO) in a non-stick pan over medium heat. Once the oil is hot you will scoop up the broccoli mixture and put it in the pan. I use a 1/4 cup measuring cup and don’t quite fill it all the way. Simply drop it in the pan. Let it cook for about 2-3 minutes until the bottom is starting to get a little crusty. Then flip it over until the other side is browned.

Prepare a plate with paper towels to soak up the excess oil. Put the broccoli fritters on the plate. Let cool just a bit then enjoy!

I do make a Remoulade Sauce to go with these and it’s delicious. Just google it you will find so many recipes!!

So here is my plate of my dinner. It was a simple night because I didn’t feel like going to the store so it was pulled pork wraps and broccoli fritters.

The pulled pork was from the pig meat my parents buy. I just fixed it in the Instant Pot (zero carbs for the pulled pork) but I do add the G. Hughes Sugar Free BBQ Sauce Honey which is 2 carbs per serving. The wrap is Mama Lupe’s Low Carb Fresh Tortillas and are only 3 carbs per wrap! A very delicious and filling low carb dinner!

This is definitely a recipe you want to try! If you do let me know what you think. Leave me a picture of yours and what you paired it with.

Have a blessed day!

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My NICU Miracles

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Did you know that September is NICU Awareness Month?

That’s okay if you didn’t. It’s one of those things that if you’ve never had a preemie or baby that had to spend time in the NICU then you wouldn’t know. And that’s okay. But I am one of those people that knows about NICU Awareness Month because I have two NICU miracles.

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My first experience with the NICU came when I had Grant 8 and a half years ago. He came 4 weeks early at 36 weeks. He weighed 5lbs 13oz and spent 18 days in the NICU. Things were a tad different in our situation with Grant because as I have talked about before with all the complications I had with my pregnancy with him and knowing before he was even born that he would most likely have Cerebral Palsy…I also knew that he would be born early I just didn’t know how early. Him having to spend time in the NICU was also pretty much a given. It was all dependent on when he would need his last transfusion and whether it was better to transfuse or go ahead and deliver. At 36 weeks the decision was made to deliver. So I headed in for a C-section. I heard the sweetest little cry as they flashed him over the curtain then quickly whisked him away. The next 18 days he spent trying to overcome swallowing issues which was the first obstacle of his Cerebral Palsy.

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My second NICU experience was almost 3 years ago when my daughter decided to “grace” us with her presence 10 weeks and 1 day early!! After a week of being in the process of active labor she came within a couple of hours. I was one push away from having to push her out naturally as opposed to a c-section. I didn’t even get to see her beautiful face before they whisked her away. She surprised us at 29 weeks 6 days weighing 3lbs 4 oz. She was a tiny little bitty ball of fire and strength from day one. She was my little Rockstar! I always said that she was too excited to meet her brothers. She spent a very long 46 days in the NICU which included a NICU transfer to a different hospital. She did amazing and spent most of her time being a feeder and grower. Her biggest struggle was learning to drink from a bottle. Once she got that she was good to go!

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To this day the hardest couple of days of my life was when I had to walk out of that hospital for the first time leaving behind a huge piece of my heart to be taken care of by complete strangers. I remember the day we left with Grant I was waiting for my husband to pull the car up. There I sat with my bags and flowers and balloons but no baby. I sat there and watched a couple get off the elevator all smiles with their baby in the car seat. They were beaming with happiness as tears rolled down my face. It seemed so unfair.

Every day after that when I would go visit my baby in the hospital broke my heart just as much. It is the strangest feeling for it to be your child but having to follow the rules of someone else when it came to caring for them. And it’s just so unnatural to sit in a room where your walls and privacy are curtains, hearing beeping from not only your baby’s machines but all the other baby’s also and spend quality time with your brand new baby. Your bonding time was spent being interrupted by asking if you were okay, if you needed anything, if you were going to pump. Some days I just wanted to scream “I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

And then it was time to leave again. I remember with Gracie everyday as I laid her back in her isolette and gave her a kiss and promised her I would see her tomorrow as the tears would stream down my face. Every day for 46 days I left the hospital in tears. Now don’t get me wrong…even with the pain of having to walk away everyday I knew that they were both in the best care they could possibly be in. I knew that the amazing NICU nurses and doctors were taking care of my babies better than I could’ve at the time. They knew things that even as a seasoned mom I didn’t know enough to help. But that didn’t hurt the pain!

Today they are a happy and healthy 8 year old and 2 year old (I refuse to say almost three because I still get 20 more days of her being two!) You would never know by looking at these two happy faces that their journey’s started out so rough.

Moral of the Story: I give a huge high five to any NICU moms and dads (and even NICU siblings because their lives are also turned upside down on this journey) out there. Whether it’s been decades since your NICU miracle or just yesterday. The journey is a hard one no matter how long or short and it’s a journey that a parent never forgets!

(If you are a NICU parent let me know in the comments!! I absolutely love hearing stories of NICU babies!!)

Have a blessed day!

What Are You Doing?

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That is the question I have been asked a lot lately. Well that and “Do you have any tips?”

Let me tell you a bit about the journey I’ve been on before I dive into answering those questions!

Almost three months ago I started a journey that was all about me. No I didn’t go to some exotic beach (although that sounds amazing) instead I decided to find myself again. Sound a little crazy? Or maybe a little too familiar?

So it’s no secret I’m a mom. Not just a mom but a mom to three amazing kiddos. You know how doctors get to talk about the letters after their name? Well I get to add a few awesome words to the beginning of mine and that is special needs mom. That makes life that much more incredible but also some days that much more difficult.

For the last almost 10 years (that can’t be right, can it? 2008…2018…yep! wow! okay, focus!) I have dedicated my entire being to the three little people that call me Mom. And don’t get me wrong it’s been truly amazing…I wouldn’t have it any other way. But in the midst of all that I lost sight of who I was…and I gained about 40lbs!

I know that doesn’t seem like much but here is where the special needs mom part comes in to play. It was getting extremely difficult for me to lift, hold and carry my 30lb son around. I was constantly out of breath. Constantly exhausted. Constantly in a fog. And he’s only going to get bigger so it’s only going to get even more difficult! Finally, on June 11th of this year I had said enough. I had my moment of “I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this.” And I started my journey.

Now here I sit 20lbs lighter!!! Yes I said 20lbs lighter and it feels amazing. When I decided to start working on a healthier me I was the biggest I had ever been at 145.6lbs. Again, I know that’s not that big but when you are 5’3″ and up until about three to four years ago were never that big then it is a lot! Dropping 20lbs has completely changed my life. But it’s not the weight that makes me happy (although seeing 125 again put a huge smile on my face). Instead it’s the fact that I have more energy than I have I think since having my oldest. I am hardly ever out of breath anymore and the fog has lifted!! I can carry Grant for much, much longer periods of time without being out of breath. I can keep up with my crazy energetic two year old. I can get stuff done around the house even when I do take a sec to sit on the couch. I don’t sink into the couch and let it consume me because I just don’t have it in me to get back up. I feel like I have my life back.

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So enough with all that…how did I do it? It wasn’t a magic pill. No drink that I have to drink X amount of times a day (well except lots of water). It’s not a monthly subscription or auto-ship that in three to four months time I will not want to do it anymore and see no results but forget to cancel and get charged again (you know exactly what I’m talking about!).

It’s a lifestyle change…I’m following the Ketogenetic Diet.

Ugh…don’t you hate that word…diet? I know I do. It’s not a diet but like I said it’s a lifestyle change. It’s a low carb, high fat and moderate protein meal plan (does that sound better?).

This article from thrivestrive.com  perfectly explains what it is and why it works in terms that are easy to understand.

I have been posting my results throughout the last two and a half months on Facebook and Instagram. I have so many people asking me what I’m doing or if I have any tips so I decided to add an exciting piece to 8 Feet and a Set of Wheels.

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Every Wednesday I will be posting a “What’s For Dinner Wednesday” blog post. There I will share a delicious recipe with all of you. One that’s tried and true and of course tested and passed (some even from the pickiest 9 year old I know).

This has truly been the easiest lifestyle change I’ve ever made. I considered myself a very picky eater…veggies? Absolutely not!! But that has all changed for me! I get excited finding new foods and recipes to try!! And now I want to share all of that with you!

I will also be posting little tidbits of info over on our Facebook page. So make sure you “like” and follow to keep up with fun info!

Don’t worry…I’m not turning this into an all diet, all lifestyle change. Or a do what I do and you too can look like me blog!! Nope! I’m still going to be posting about life and the craziness around us. This is just something I am passionate about and want to share with all of you!

So stay tuned next week for our very first “What’s For Dinner Wednesday” post!!

Have a blessed day!

Pick Your Battles…They Say

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I’ve heard that phrase all my life. Even as a child I remember hearing parents say “You have to pick your battles” referring to situations with children.

I have to say that I’m on my third kid and I have finally…truly learned what that means.

Matthew was such a laid back kiddo! He very rarely threw fits in the store. I remember one time in Dollar General when he wasn’t even two he threw a fit over a ball and I put the ball down and we left without it. I don’t remember any other time. Even at home he was so easy. Now there were some times at home that it wasn’t worth the fight so I gave in. But again that was rare.

Grant has also been pretty laid back. He’s pretty easy to get along with and he pretty much goes with the flow…for the most part. There haven’t been many times that I’ve felt like I had to compromise my decision to make him happy.

Then enter Grace! Oh mylanta!! This girl has been a constant series of picking and choosing battles, however, it’s always been pretty easy to compromise with her to end up getting my way. Until this last week…I feel like she’s won the upper hand in most the battles.

I’m not sure if it’s the crazy full moon, blood moon, lunar eclipse or her coming up on her terrifying threes but this week has been nothing but having to choose my battles and I haven’t been very successful!

But again…pick and choose. Like today for instance. I had to go to Hobby Lobby and she wanted to go. She was still in her jammies so I told her to go pick what shirt she wanted to wear. What did she pick? Her Belle princess dress up dress! I asked if she was sure and got a giddy “Yes!!” So that’s what she wore to the store today. Could I have told her no? Absolutely!! But why start a battle that wasn’t worth the fight. If she wants to look like a princess as she shops with me then her wish is my command.

Maybe it’s an age thing. I’m older now and those types of things don’t matter. Maybe it’s a third child thing…I just don’t have the energy to fight that battle. Or maybe it’s the fact that she’s my last baby and I know someday soon there will come a time when she no longer wants to wear a princess dress to go shopping and I will think back to this day with tears in my eyes and smile…remembering when that sweet little two-year old thought she was something pretty special wearing her princess dress to the store.

Moral of the story: pick your battles…absolutely! But remember to also make memories as you go!

Have a blessed day!

Tears in Walmart

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Every once in awhile something happens in your life…a moment, an interaction…that makes you smile (an maybe bring tears to your eyes as you are walking through Walmart).

I was going to get on here and post a blog about how unfair life can be for a special needs child. I was all ready to talk about how Matthew is at the lake for a few days with my parents but Grant didn’t get to go. I was going to whine a little about how Grant deals with enough…but then something happened.

As we were walking through Walmart, Ryan was pushing Grant in his chair and I was following pushing Grace in the cart. Going down a main aisle Ryan cut across and I waited for a younger guy to pass first then I followed. We were standing at the phone chargers and this same young guy came up to us. Thinking we were in his way, Ryan and I both kind of parted the way. That’s when he bent down to Grant.

This is where the watery eyes started.

He bent down to Grant and talked to him. He didn’t talk to Ryan and he didn’t talk to me…he talked TO Grant. And he waited for Grant to answer him. He asked if Grant liked toys to which he got a huge smile and little nod yes. Then he asked what kind of toys. Do you like cool cars he asked Grant. Again big smile and nod as Grant looked at me like how did he know. He then looked up and asked me “Does he have Cerebral Palsy?” It always throws me when people ask that. I told him yes he does and he told us his twin brother has Cerebral Palsy. He said they are 23 years old. Then again he started talking to Grant. He handed him a $20 bill and told him to go buy him a cool car. Then he waited there for Grant to grab the money.

I’m not sure how I choked back the lump in my throat to thank him for being so kind. As he walked away and I bent down to Grant I had to wipe a tear away.

It’s those moments that make you take a step back and see the world…in that moment…as nothing but good. His kindness towards Grant and the way he spoke to Grant like a person was beyond words. There was a connection between the two of them. They understood each other and that was so amazing to witness!

Oh yes and Grant picked out an awesome car!! He was so excited to walk through the toys and search for something he wanted. His car lights up and makes noise and he can do it all by himself.

Moral of the story: Never take for granted the fact that there are still amazing people in the world. And when you get wrapped up in a moment that takes your breath away…soak it in!

Have a blessed day!

There’s No Greater Love…

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…then that of a special needs sibling!

One of my greatest joys is watching my oldest and youngest with Grant. I love the look of love and adoration in their eyes as they interact. I truly believe there is no greater love.

Matthew was only 17 months old when Grant was born. He’s been there through every triumph, every mountain, every tear and every smile. He’s been there for every doctors appointment, every bad day, every great day, every small feat…He’s experienced it all with a smile on his face. He’s never once complained. He’s never once acted like Grant is a burden. He’s never once acted upset over the amount of time Grant takes from him. He is truly Grant’s biggest fan and always the first to be excited over something he has accomplished. Grant being Grant is all he’s ever known. And he is truly amazing with him and the love that Grant shows for Matthew is indescribable. I’ve said so many times that I wish Grant looked at me with half as much love and adoration that he shows when he looks at Matthew.

And Gracie…oh my she’s Grant’s little Momma! She’s always making sure he’s okay. She’s worried when he cries. She laughs when he’s silly. She loves on him when he needs it. I can always count on her sharing her food or drink with him. She had a piece of cheese the other day and I look over and she’s holding his head so gently saying “here go Gant. Take a bite. It good.” She’s always asking “where my Gant?” One day we had to drop the boys off at school and it messed Grant’s day up so he was crying. I got back in the car and she said “My Gant cry, Mom” “where my Gant go?” She loves him fiercely and I love that he always has her to look after him.

Life as a special needs sibling is not a “typical” life. You see things you shouldn’t have to see. Like, for instance, being seven years old and watching your younger brother have a seizure…and then watching it again several more times. Having to ask your mom “Can you die from a seizure? Is Grant going to die?” It’s the worry that anything could cause it to happen again. Matthew is Grant’s protector when it comes to seizures. He is always making sure he is not doing anything or exposed to anything that will cause him to have one. 

Life as a special needs sibling is being 2 years old and watching your older brother throw up so many times over and over day after day to a point that when you play doctor you act like you have to throw up but you have to have mom take you in the kitchen and hold you “like Grant” so you can throw up.

Life as a special needs sibling means not getting to do some things just because Grant can’t. Because even though it’s 2018 there are still so many places that are not handicap friendly, wheelchair accessible or good for kids with disabilities. 

Life as a special needs sibling means being told to wait “just a minute” while your mom helps your brother with something as easy as getting a drink or eating.

Life as a special needs sibling means life isn’t always fair.

But…life as a special needs sibling means that you have a kind heart! It means that you learn compassion in a way most adults will never understand. It means that you learn to put the needs of others before your own. It means that you know a love deeper than any love and so unconditional nothing can break it because your brother loves you so truly, so madly, so deeply that it makes it all worth it.

Moral of the story: Be kind to special needs siblings. They have a life unlike any other. Most days their lives are chaotic and crazy. If you get a chance to be friends with a special needs sibling, do it! They will show you kindness you’ve never seen before. Special needs siblings are the unsung heroes. The superheroes that don’t wear capes!!

Have a blessed day!