I Need A Time Out

I love being a mom!

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember.

I love even more so being a stay at home mom.

I love being there when they open their eyes in the morning. I love seeing them off to school. I love spending the special time with just Grace while the boys are at school because I know before long she will be off to school all day also. I love seeing their smiling faces when I pick them up. I love tucking them into bed every night.

I love my kids fiercely! They are every breath I take. I spend every minute of my day for my kids.

But sometimes…I need a timeout! I need a second to breathe for myself. I need some time away from them. It’s okay to admit that. I’m not ashamed!

Because I spend every second of my day with my kids I get every second of them. Along with all the happiness and smiles I get the grumpiness and frowns. I get the attitude from my ten year old. I get the rolling of his eyes and stomping of his feet because he was in the middle of a Fortnite game when I told him it’s time to go to bed. I get the whines from my eight year old. I get his screaming moments he has because he wants me to spend every second of everyday sitting beside him on the couch while he watches his videos and I just can’t. I get the sassiness from my three year old as she screams at me for a cookie or candy when she hasn’t had good food. I get it all.

My day starts in the morning and honestly sometimes really never ends before it rolls into the next day.

And add into that having the life of a special needs mom. I have a child who cannot do anything for himself. He fully relies on me for everything!

And trying to balance my time between not only all the duties bestowed upon me as a stay at home mom but also between each kid. Somedays it’s all just hard!

Sometimes I just need a timeout! I need to step out of the house without carrying a kiddo and having to hold another’s hand and get on to the oldest for not having his shoes on when I’ve asked a hundred times. I need time to remember who I am!

And that’s okay! I’m not at all saying I don’t love my children…because, like I said, they are literally every breath I take. But I would love a second to go to the bathroom without my daughter banging on the door shouting, “I WANT TO COME IN WITH YOU!!” (that is if she is not in there with me already). Or without my eight year old whining at me because I have to get up and go pee and leave his side. Or my ten year old bugging me over something that can absolutely wait until I am done.

I need a second to just stop and think. Some days I don’t even get a single second to think about…well…anything! I need my own space for a few seconds. I need room to move if only for a second. To not have someone sitting on my lap, or grabbing me by the hand or needing me to get up and get something.

Moral of the story: I need a time out!! But only for a second because even though they drive me crazy at times, I don’t know what I would do without the questions, and demands, and being needed!

Have a blessed day!

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