You might find this topic a little redundant here but this is our life!
Here I sit at 5:50am knowing my alarm will be going off in less then an hour. At that time I will have gotten three hours of broken sleep. That makes it a grand total of five and a half hours of sleep in the last two nights.
My whole body hurts! Every inch of me aches. My neck is so stiff from having to sit with my head cocked to the side. My back is killing me and every little movement sends a shooting pain from my lower to upper back. My hands are numb and hurting because of my carpal tunnel. My knees are throbbing from being curled up and sideways. And my eyes burn.
The tears are streaming down my face!! I just want to sleep. I feel his body relax. Finally he’s in a deep sleep. I very careful stand up, trying not to scream from the pain, and take him to his bed. I slowly and quietly open the door and ever so softly lay him down and walk away.
He screams!! He screams like someone is hurting him!! I walk out and shut the door. He has to stop! He’s got to be exhausted. I stand there praying for him to sleep. No such luck!! I pick him and we make our way back to the living room to start all over!
I don’t know what the problem is. Is it due to the super blue red lunar eclipse moon or whatever? Possibly…gosh I hope so because then I know it won’t last much longer. Or is this his new thing? I do know he’s not hurting when I lay him down because he tells me. He does say yes to being scared but he nods with his ornery smile which makes me thing otherwise.
But I continue to do it night after night…me and me alone. Why? Because he deserves it!! Because he is my son. Because I love him with every ounce in me!! Because it’s not his fault he’s got the crappy disability that enables him from sleeping but also from talking and being able to tell me what’s wrong. It’s not his fault! So I will continue to sit here until my alarm goes off and my day starts…because he is mine!
Moral of the story: never give up and when you feel like you are going to break, close your eyes and ask God for strength!
Have a blessed day!