…then that of a special needs sibling!

One of my greatest joys is watching my oldest and youngest with Grant. I love the look of love and adoration in their eyes as they interact. I truly believe there is no greater love.

Matthew was only 17 months old when Grant was born. He’s been there through every triumph, every mountain, every tear and every smile. He’s been there for every doctors appointment, every bad day, every great day, every small feat…He’s experienced it all with a smile on his face. He’s never once complained. He’s never once acted like Grant is a burden. He’s never once acted upset over the amount of time Grant takes from him. He is truly Grant’s biggest fan and always the first to be excited over something he has accomplished. Grant being Grant is all he’s ever known. And he is truly amazing with him and the love that Grant shows for Matthew is indescribable. I’ve said so many times that I wish Grant looked at me with half as much love and adoration that he shows when he looks at Matthew.

And Gracie…oh my she’s Grant’s little Momma! She’s always making sure he’s okay. She’s worried when he cries. She laughs when he’s silly. She loves on him when he needs it. I can always count on her sharing her food or drink with him. She had a piece of cheese the other day and I look over and she’s holding his head so gently saying “here go Gant. Take a bite. It good.” She’s always asking “where my Gant?” One day we had to drop the boys off at school and it messed Grant’s day up so he was crying. I got back in the car and she said “My Gant cry, Mom” “where my Gant go?” She loves him fiercely and I love that he always has her to look after him.

Life as a special needs sibling is not a “typical” life. You see things you shouldn’t have to see. Like, for instance, being seven years old and watching your younger brother have a seizure…and then watching it again several more times. Having to ask your mom “Can you die from a seizure? Is Grant going to die?” It’s the worry that anything could cause it to happen again. Matthew is Grant’s protector when it comes to seizures. He is always making sure he is not doing anything or exposed to anything that will cause him to have one. 

Life as a special needs sibling is being 2 years old and watching your older brother throw up so many times over and over day after day to a point that when you play doctor you act like you have to throw up but you have to have mom take you in the kitchen and hold you “like Grant” so you can throw up.

Life as a special needs sibling means not getting to do some things just because Grant can’t. Because even though it’s 2018 there are still so many places that are not handicap friendly, wheelchair accessible or good for kids with disabilities. 

Life as a special needs sibling means being told to wait “just a minute” while your mom helps your brother with something as easy as getting a drink or eating.

Life as a special needs sibling means life isn’t always fair.

But…life as a special needs sibling means that you have a kind heart! It means that you learn compassion in a way most adults will never understand. It means that you learn to put the needs of others before your own. It means that you know a love deeper than any love and so unconditional nothing can break it because your brother loves you so truly, so madly, so deeply that it makes it all worth it.

Moral of the story: Be kind to special needs siblings. They have a life unlike any other. Most days their lives are chaotic and crazy. If you get a chance to be friends with a special needs sibling, do it! They will show you kindness you’ve never seen before. Special needs siblings are the unsung heroes. The superheroes that don’t wear capes!!

Have a blessed day!